Let's Meet Today's Guest On The Dad Hat Lance Cayco

Lance Cayco is a partner behind F9 Productions, an architectural firm out of Colorado as well as the host of the Behind The Firm podcast. He is a unique design professional with over 20 years of hands-on construction experience. He has worked in the field as a carpenter and independent contractor spanning throughout North Dakota, Montana, and Idaho.

Lee opens up the clip with: Is the tiny house market booming?

Lance discusses his belief that the origins of the tiny house movement started in the Occupy Wall Street movement and has been surprised by how long it's held on despite insane costs for tiny homes. He further adds that he's unsure whether the bears are correct, and we're headed for another housing crisis.

Lee retorts with questions about subprime loans.

Lance looks to the drastic changes in lending policy to make things less volatile now. Sure, the financial products are constantly chopped and screwed and resold as something else, but at least the banks aren't talking to home appraisers directly.

Lee: What is fatherhood to you? What are the pillars?

Lance establishes his one-word answer as Sacrifice. He goes on to recollect a story of a three-year period when his first wife left for three years, and he was forced to raise their three children as a single parent as he launched his business. During this period, he still managed to keep his kids in private school while working paycheck to paycheck. He speculates this has something to do with his adoptive father. Kids are your legacy, your seed, your hope for the future. This spins off into a brief aside about stoicism.

Lee: What word best describes fatherhood: supporter, creator, provider?

Lance chooses "provider." He then begins a story about his father doing what is necessary to keep the family farm running out of familial loyalty to his father. This modest beginning is what pushed Lance to make sure his own children never internalized the stress of being poor like he remembered.

Lance quotes Ye: "Having money isn't everything, but not having it is."

It's not about possessions but knowing Dad will be able to give you what you need if you ask. What kind of anxieties can he alleviate for them?

Lee asks for Lance's opinion on gender norms and the nuclear family.

Lance admits to being very traditional in his views of family structure and nods to the average natures of men and women being better suited for certain tasks in child-rearing.

Lee then turns the question toward business.

Lance begins a very self-deprecating story about how little difference he sees between his role as a father and that of a business owner. He makes sure to say not in a patronizing way but in a nurturing way. He wants employees that are able to learn without baggage. He follows this up with two stories, one familial and one business related.

Lee: Did those three years make you better as a person?

Lance is a catholic and a firm believer in god and lives his life by providence. He reasons with Lee that adversity is the story that people need to hear.

Lee asks Lance if his desire to make his children secure in all things is at odds with his understanding that they need to learn to be resilient.

Lance then uses summer jobs and loans as a way to properly educate them about when usury and how loans shouldn't be taken lightly or unnecessarily.

Lee: Are we in a period of weak men?

Lance dives into the science behind testosterone dwindling in humanity. While elaborating, he starts pointing fingers at the tech sector foremost. They are the "weak men" afraid to not censor everyone else.

Lee retorts with Jeff Bezos as the exception that breaks makes the rule before launching into the things that have made him weak in life before attributing competition to being his saving grace.

Lance says, "Life is a competition, isn't it?" even if his wife hates it. After an EMP blast, we're back to fighting over food and water. If meritocracy is defeated, it's gonna be DEI. This is emblemized by the narrative around Trump. We no longer venerate the strength.

Lee talks about trying to avoid the equality versus equity conversation at work and not being allowed to by his customer. Channeling Thomas Sowell, Lee breaks down how ludicrous the idea of equality is when we're not equal to ourselves from minute to minute.

Lance points out how the people most bought in are the individuals driving HR today. He then notes he likes publicly and privately exposing these people and their terrible ideology when he can. The entire idea undermines the entire history of human competition.

In a final revelation, Lance remembers the change when he found out that despite not wanting kids, he was going to be a dad.

My hope is you walk away from today's episode pondering what lessons you are passing on to the next generation and whether they are the ones you want to pass on.

Lance Cayco Resources & Extra Media

- https://f9productions.com/